Disclaimer: This is not an upbeat post.
Sometimes, I just want to scream because I'm so frustrated/angry/sad. And then I don't scream, instead I just sit there and cry, and let it out. Tonight, is one of those nights.
I miss my husband every second he is away from me. It physically hurts. I know that there are tons of women who go through the same things as me...its "the joys of being an army wife" as people put it...except we all know its not always to "joyful." I want to scream that he is probably going to miss the birth of our first child, I want to yell at whoever decided to make his training fall over my due date. I want to be angry at everybody because I am so sad. And then I get upset, because I can't even really discuss my feelings, because it just makes him feel bad--and I don't want to do that, because I know how upset he is for having to miss these things.
I hate this stupid war. (Don't get me wrong--I support our troops) I hate that so many of our men and women have to be away from their families. I hate that for the next year Jeff is going to be away from me and our son, and that we are going to miss milestones that SHOULD be spent as a family.
I support Jeff 100%. But sometimes, when I'm in moods like this, I'm so ANGRY at him. For deciding to take this path, to choose this life. I just want to be selfish and have him home with me all the time.
Ok, I seriously need to stop, or I'll just go on and on and on and on. And we all know that it sucks reading posts like this, but I just need to get it off my chest.